Dissertation for Master's Degree in Family Counseling
Abstract
The main purpose of this research is to examine the relationship between mothers' self-differentiation with parent-child conflict and responsibility of middle school girl students. The tools used in this research are: 1- Self-differentiation questionnaire (DSI-R) of Yunsi. 2- Parent-Child Conflict Questionnaire Murray E. Strauss. 3- Responsibility questionnaire prepared by Nemati in 2018. The current research population was formed by middle school female students and their mothers in Mehrdasht city (Isfahan) in 1991, and their number is 400. 200 students and their mothers were randomly selected from these schools. Questionnaires (parent-child conflict and adolescent responsibility) were provided to the students to answer. Also, with the arrangements that were made in these schools, mothers with a minimum degree (diploma) who refer to the meetings of the parents and teachers' association were invited to the school and answered the self-differentiation questionnaire. Data were used by descriptive statistics (mean and standard deviation) and inferential statistics such as Pearson's correlation coefficient. The result of the research confirms the relationship between mothers' self-differentiation and parent-child conflict and students' responsibility, that is, low differentiation of mothers causes conflict between themselves and children, and the result is low responsibility of students. Man is the most important support and axis of social life. Because the family environment is the first and most lasting factor in the development of the personality of children and adolescents and the foundation of their physical, moral, social and emotional growth, and in addition to the inherited backgrounds that we carry with us from our parents after birth, we first learn any knowledge and how to deal with issues and problems in the family (Latfi, 2016). Self-differentiation is the degree of a person's ability to distinguish the practical process from the emotional process that he experiences. The concept of differentiation is defined as the experience of closeness (intimacy) authority (autonomy) with others. This concept expresses the level of a person's ability to think realistically about emotional issues in the family. Differentiation includes the type of intrapersonal capacity to differentiate thinking and feeling, as well as the interpersonal ability to maintain independence, within the context of deep relationships with important people in life (Boen, 1976). Bowen's followers believe that people tend to repeat the communication style learned in the family in marriage and other important relationships and pass similar patterns to their children. Bowen believes that people choose a mate whose level of separation is the same as their own. It will not be surprising, then, that relatively undistinguished individuals marry someone equally admixed with their family of origin. The greater the family mix, the greater the probability of anxiety and instability, and the greater the family's desire to find a solution through war and conflict, distancing and dysfunctional functioning (Goldenberg. Goldenberg [1], 2000, translated by Shahi Barvati et al., 2013).
Evidences show that the main family patterns, especially patterns of differentiation, have an important effect on children's anxiety in social performance, academics, responsibility, and psychological and physical symptoms. (Papko, [2] 2004). On the other hand, there is a high relationship between parental differentiation and conflict with children. Santrak [3] (2000) believes that adolescence is the stage of transition from childhood to adulthood. This period begins with rapid physical changes and the development of abstract thinking. It is also a stage of life that requires more separation and independence from parents (Wong, Wiest, & Kosik[4], 2002). One of the risk factors of this period is the conflict between parents and teenagers. The term conflict refers to the inability to resolve differences and is more associated with tension, hostility and aggression (Hall [5], 1987). According to Rees, Chanchong and Jackson [6] (2003), conflict means opposition between two or more people. Conflicts between mothers and teenage girls provide the basis for the impact of social damage.Most of the deviations of girls appear at the ages of 15-20, the most common of which are running away from home and failing in education, which originates from the lack of proper communication with parents (Latfi, 2015).
A social person has been forced to cooperate with his fellows and accept responsibility for living, because his needs have been met with the help and cooperation of others (Sotoudeh, 2016). Regarding responsibility and its relationship with life, Glaser believes that unhappiness and depression are the result of not feeling responsible. An irresponsible person does not value himself or others, and as a result, he offends himself and others (Shafiabadi and Naseri, 2010). Accepting responsibility is a clear sign of mental health. Healthy and successful people act within the limits of society's realities without drowning in corruption and unrestrainedness. In fact, the starting point of changing the corrupt aspect of society is to accept responsibility (Prochaska [7], translated by Seyed Mohammadi, 2013). In a research, Sternberg [8] and colleagues (1986) investigated the relationship between student responsibility and parent-adolescent relationships with the academic performance of middle school teenagers. In this research, it was shown that students' responsibility has a positive relationship with parents' relationships with their children and academic success. , 1377). One of the risk factors of this period is the conflict between parents and teenagers. Adolescence is a period of independence, expression of opposing opinions and conflict with parents, a period when conflicts between adolescents and parents increase and sometimes become troublesome. In fact, communication conflict is a conflict that shows conflict and conflict over incompatible goals between two interdependent people (Hacker and Wilmot [9], 1995).
In most families, there is conflict, like an entity in the family environment, because well-differentiated families are rare, and mostly people marry those who have the same level of differentiation as themselves (Sharf [10], 1996). According to Bowen, the family as a social system should be unstable unless its members are well differentiated. According to Bowen, differentiation is the ability of a person to separate himself emotionally and physically from the original family, as well as the ability to achieve emotional growth and independence without losing the capacity of emotional connection with the family. A person is differentiated when his emotional and security needs compel him to lose or limit his individuality in order to secure the love and acceptance of others. On the other hand, a differentiated person is secure about his own identity. Can freely enter into intimate relationships. As he pursues meaningful goals and is more likely to succeed in all aspects of his life (Latfi, 2015).
Ham saw family relationships as a product of the differentiation of family members and that family relationships will not improve unless the level of differentiation of members increases. The level of differentiation of the child is more influenced by the mother. (The most emotionally important person to the child) As much as the mother's activities encourage the child's emotional separation, the child will reach higher levels of differentiation, and as much as it reduces the emotional separation, it will lead to the child's non-separation (Ham[11] 2005).
According to Santrak[12] (2002), about one fifth of families are in difficult, repetitive and dangerous conflicts with their teenagers. Moradi, 1384). Conflict is the lack of agreement and disagreement between two people, incompatibility and opinions and goals and behavior that takes place in the direction of opposing the other, as well as conflict between people due to conflicting interests and differences in different goals and perceptions. Conflicts between teenagers and parents intensify in early adolescence. The results of the researches show that the conflicts between teenagers and their parents appear around the age of 14 (Biyabangerd, 2014). Norman Beals [13] (2000) believes that mother-daughter conflicts are more frequent when the girl is between the ages of 13 and 19. Conflicts between 10-14-year-old girls with their mothers are more about how to spend free time, housework, telephone, arranging personal belongings and so on. It goes around and the result is the separation of mother and child (Lotfi, 2015). Ahmadi (1382) reported, based on a survey of Tehrani teenagers and their parents, that 45% of mothers and 42% of fathers considered their teenagers incompatible.